


Bearings

by gryffindorsqueen



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Angst, F/M, Goodbyes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-27
Updated: 2016-03-27
Packaged: 2018-05-29 13:33:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6377233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gryffindorsqueen/pseuds/gryffindorsqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"Write to me." She said suddenly and immediately felt foolish. She couldn't imagine him hunched over a piece of parchment writing to a half-forgotten human on the other side of world.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>But he nodded. "I will."</i>
</p>
<p>Sten and Amell don't say goodbye. But he leaves for Par Vollen all the same.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bearings

**Author's Note:**

> What better way to start a potential Sten/Amell series than with a very angsty farewell?

_**'We threw our hearts into the sea,** _  
_**Forgot all of our memories.'** _

\- The Boat Song | Woodkid

 

* * *

 

Late afternoon was not a time Honora Amell had expected to be in turmoil. Romantic novels always heralded dawn or dusk as the time for emotional upheavals so the idea of it being just an ordinary afternoon felt like a strange dream.

_'It's too soon,'_ she thought. They had barely rested, not even talked about him leaving.

He had only mentioned it two nights ago when her fingers were tracing patterns of old Fereldan lovespoons on his bare chest.

_"I must go."_

_Her hand stopped, fingertip just brushing his ashen skin._

_"When?"_

_"Two days."_

_She had wanted to scream, wanted to tell him that she didn't care about the damned Qun, that his people couldn't want him there more than she wanted him here -_

But he needed to get back. And nothing she could say would ever change that.

That wasn't a surprise but it hurt all the same.

Which was why she hadn't bothered trying to persuade him at all. He had his duty and she had hers. She just had to be brave and let him go.

They walked down to the harbour in silence, arms brushing and footsteps in sync. He hadn't looked in her eyes since yesterday. But she had seen so much purple last night she thought she must have been dreaming.

_She had been surrounded in him, felt each breath and heartbeat. Purple eyes above her shone with sadness._

_"This is - "_

_"I know." She hadn't wanted him to say it. She would live it tomorrow, let her think about it then. She wanted no sadness, wanted one last night without fate pressing its heavy hands on their shoulders._

They came to a stop in front of the boat. It looked too small to hold him, too insignificant how far apart it was taking them.

She watched him load his bag on board; a skinny, wide-eyed sailor's boy taking it with shaking hands. Sten stopped and half glanced over his shoulder.

"I'm still here." She said quietly.

He nodded but still didn't look at her.

She felt a swelling in her throat but clenched her fists.

_'I must be brave. He will hate it if I cry.'_

"Write to me." She said suddenly and immediately felt foolish. She couldn't imagine him hunched over a piece of parchment writing to a half-forgotten human on the other side of world.

But he nodded. "I will."

He clambered onto the boat and she wanted nothing more than to cling onto his wrist, to kiss him a while. Just a little longer, just a bit more time to memorise what he felt like, smelled like, tasted like.

His violet eyes met hers and she felt herself tremble.

In her own sorrow, she had forgotten his. His face was impassive but his eyes...

There were no tears, he was sterner than that. But she could see the regret in his eyes and the pain of wanting something that wasn't his duty. She wondered what he would do now if she begged him to stay. Would he waver?

_'No._ ' She thought. _'I must be brave.'_

The first drops of stinging wetness hit her cheeks and her bottom lip quivered. _'But I don't want to be brave. I want to be selfish. I want to be allowed to choose. Just once.'_

She watched as the boat was unmoored and then he was adrift, floating away on the traitorous sea. She cursed the ground beneath her feet for being so solid.

"Hissera, kadan." His voice was deep and quiet, barely audible above the gentle, relentless rolling of the ocean.

He didn't wave. He kept his eyes on hers and just raised his hand in farewell.

She must have watched him go for a long time because when she blinked, the afternoon had grown dusk and she was sobbing. His ship was nothing more than a lost speck on the endless horizon.

"Warden?"

Zevran - her good, faithful friend - had come to collect her.

"J-just..." Her voice was broken, shaking. "Just a moment longer."

He was a quiet presence behind her, but familiar and comforting in her grief. He placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"As you wish."

**Author's Note:**

> Hissera = hope
> 
> Let me know if you enjoyed it and would like to read more Sten/Amell. Thanks for reading! :)


End file.
